Why we need to chill the eff out
While I am writing this, I finally start to chill the eff out.
Ever since I can remember, I have been busy. I am always busy doing something. Not just something, I am always doing several things at the same time. Many things.
The more the better. Looking back at the past 10 years, I really ask myself, how the hell did I manage all this? When people ask me: ‘How are you?”, my answer is always: “busy”.
Back in Germany, about a decade and a half ago, I had several jobs at the same time and I would feel guilty if I wouldn’t use every single hour of my day as efficiently as possible.
A day off? Na. You sit on your couch and feel weird not to be doing anything right now.
First, I thought it’s a German thing to feel that way, as we have a very ‘efficient’ culture we grow up in, a special mindset which gets drilled into our brains from a young age.
However, the more I travelled the world and met more and more entrepreneurs, the more I understood, these are typical entrepreneurial thoughts.
Travelling the world, studying in different countries, working, moving every couple of months, attending every possible networking event in every place, travelling again, writing these annoying essays, tests and exams about nonsense at university, building my first business, fundraising for those massive projects while your personal life falls apart and you put it back together again.
You name it, I did it all, all the time. Just like yourself.
The list is endless. I’m not complaining, I’m saying past times were very hardcore.
And I like it. I am a hardcore type of person. Hardcore everything. Black or white (learning about grey areas every day though lol). I like diversity, change, new things, and exploring.
As entrepreneurs we tend to have a shiny object syndrome, and we are really good at keeping ourselves busy. In other words, sometimes we are all over the place. This just works to a certain point.
Until the point you crash. Until the point you realise: “Oops! Where exactly was the ‘me-time’ in the last several months?”
The social media world…
We are available 24/7, constantly on the run, constantly online, always on the phone, checking Facebook, Instagram, emails and what not. We are busy. Always ‘busy’.
While you may think: “Oh, let me just quickly answer those couple of emails…” Boom! 5 hours later you see yourself lost in the online world, having opened 20 different tabs at the same time, which are all really important and you need to read all of them. Even your computer can’t take it, freezes or crashes. Sounds familiar?
Newsflash: You do NOT need to read all of them.
On the one hand, the online world is enhancing communication and is helping us to stay in touch with people on the other side of the world.
But at the same time it disconnects us from the people we are surrounded by at this present moment, physically. Today we are more disconnected, and less present than ever.
We are not living in the now, which is the only thing there is.
We always think into the future, or grieve about the past. “Will I live in this country one day?
Will I ever meet the love of my life? What will I eat for dinner tomorrow?… “I should have done this and that in the past, then it would be different today…” Blah blah blah.
We all have similar thoughts every now and then and we all are worried about the same sh*t. While being BUSY with thinking about those things (which we mostly cannot change), we miss out on the NOW.
When those present moments are over, we grieve about the past moments, which could have been so much more enjoyable, if we only would have lived in the now and paid more attention…
Who is more important?
Constantly we are trying to please everyone around us and to keep everyone happy. Yes, you too. It’s integrated into human nature to be wanted and liked by others, whether you like it and admit it or not.
I think it would be beneficial to develop a healthy balance between constantly trying to please people and purposefully pissing people off.
Newsflash number two: It is okay to say no.
And it is even more okay to say no without an excuse! You do not always have to explain yourself.
If you cannot attend this meeting, or you just don’t feel like socialising, then JUST don’t.
It is okay to choose not to hang out with those people if you don’t have the energy. The end result of doing it anyway will be that those people steal your last energy that day.
Boom. The light has died. YOUR light has died!
Who is the most important person in your life? Your Mum or your Dad? Maybe your boyfriend, wife or husband? Your daughter or son? Maybe your dog? WRONG!
You are the most important person in your life. You are the person who comes first, before all the other people I’ve just listed above.
If you are not looking after yourself first, you cannot be the best version of yourself.
If you are grumpy and moody all the time because you do not pay attention to yourself, how can you be frank to your partner and keep up a happy relationship?
If you get sick, who is going to look after your children? You are the driving force of all the people you have around in your life. You are the reason. So keep your circle clean and pure. You attract what you project. Simple.
Watch your plate…
Sometimes we just put a little bit too much on our plate. (I always do!)
When I experienced my first burnout, it would hit me in the middle of a lecture or a meeting. I sat there, the words in the room (or the slides on the screen) were being distorted.
It almost felt like I was on drugs and part of a bad movie. I couldn’t take any information on board anymore. Ewwww…
Too many times we forget about ourselves. So, how much ‘YOU time’ do you schedule in per week? I mean, only YOU time. Time for you to chill the eff out. Without people around you.
How often do you get the chance to sit down, breath, digest all the things in life, which happened or are happening to you?
Once a month, maybe? If that’s the case you need to do some work, right now. And I don’t mean work on your business…
What do you consider as ‘me-time’? Everybody defines ‘me-time’ differently. If you think me-time should be socialising with your friends, then this is your me-time.
If you consider it to go to the spa by yourself and enjoy a massage and a nice manicure, go for it.
Maybe it’s reading a book or going for a walk along the beach. Each to their own. Whatever it is, make sure you schedule this into your calendar so it can actually happen.
If it’s not written down and scheduled in, it is a lot easier to ignore it and keep being ‘busy’…
If you aren’t quite sure which area in your life to focus on first, download my free Hero Wheel and find out in 2 minutes where to pay attention to first.
How do you fill your jar of life?
We all have 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week and 52 weeks in a year. Do you fill your jar of life with enough ‘big stones’?
Who knows how many years you have left to focus on the really important things in life?…
I mean, I set myself a personal goal, I would like to hit the 100 and be a raving granny at a rave party.
That means from today onwards, I have exactly 24,455 days left. Or 66 years, 10 months and 19 days. Or
- 2,113,928,000 seconds
- 3,522,800 minutes
- 586,920 hours
- 24,455 days
- 3493 weeks
Isn’t that kind of scary? 😮
Check out this short video about the jar of life. DON’T skip it, take your time and watch it. When someone demonstrated it to me, it opened up my eyes. Big time!
From this day I’ll be making some changes in my life, again. My health suffered big time a few times already, because I didn’t know how to take it easy.
I am a master in ignoring signs my body is trying to show me.
“Well, right now I don’t have time to be sick, and it does not fit into my schedule because I have to do this today, that tomorrow.
In fact the next several months are already planned out. So I will just ignore it and hope it will go away by itself.” OUCH.
The more you ignore it, the worse it gets. I am the one who is very good at telling people this, but when it comes to myself, for some reason it seems very difficult to judge things in my own life and to tell myself when to stop.
The end result of putting as much as possible onto your plate will eventually turn into a burnout. You will crash at some point.
Remember that you are still a human, not a machine. It can take up to 2 years + to get out of a burnout again.
This will affect your life in ALL matters. Worst case scenario, you are not going to finish all the things that you have worked so hard to do in the last several years.
All of a sudden nothing matters anymore, you lose interest and passion. Your organs will suffer and you will fall into a depression.
This will gradually build up over the years and it is the worst feeling ever.
I’ve been there twice. And you don’t want to be there if you haven’t been already, trust me.
It doesn’t matter if this paper is not done today, or if you have not responded to this email today.
Nobody will die if you do it in the morning. It doesn’t matter if you could not make it to this meeting. You can go to another one, another day.
Stop juggling too many balls at once.
…and chill the eff out 🙂
On the day when I wrote this piece, I was living in Perth and I booked my flight to Ubud (Bali), where I chilled THE EFF out.
It was Tina time, big time. Lot’s of yoga, meditation, beach walks, reading, a little bit of working and lots and lots of smoothies were involved. It was time to reprogram my mind and to understand I cannot do everything at the same time.
I have so many amazing plans for the next several years and I don’t want anything to come in the way of those plans.
I want to help more people to get their amazing vision and mission into this world and I want to keep building this kick-ass community.
Without having a full reserve of energy it will be really hard to follow and fulfil any plans. So, take your time to recharge and find a freaking balance.
The rant is over now. That’s my view why we need to chill out a bit more at times. And how about you?
Is your life fulfilling, satisfying and happy? How do you choose to spend your time?
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